Have you noticed that lately, love songs have been poorly written? Maybe it’s just me being a curmudgeon, but here are some of the songs I like to crinkle my nose at in disgust and say: “If you are going to write me a love song, you are not allowed to do this…”
- John Legend’s “All About Me“
Do not start your love song off with:
What would I do without your smart mouth?
I don’t know. But you’re about to find out what I can do with my smart foot.
- Maroon 5 “Sugar“
Ugh, I can’t tell if this song is about a sex addict or a stalker. Just… no.
I’m hurting, baby, I’m broken down
I need your loving, loving, I need it now
When I’m without you
I’m something weak
You got me begging
Begging, I’m on my knees
Image courtesy of dvs (Flickr: sandwich) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons
- Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do“
I usually love me some Ellie Goulding, but really?
So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do
As opposed to loving you like someone else? These lyrics aren’t touching, and they don’t really make sense.
- Nicki Minaj “Truffle Butter” (feat. Drake and L’il Wayne)
Okay, probably not actually considered a love song, but I have to include these lyrics, which are just too funny:
Can I hit it in the bathroom? Put your hands on the toilet
I put one leg on the tub
Girl, that’s my new dance move, I just don’t know what to call it
But bitch you dancing with the stars
I ain’t nothin’ like your last dude, what’s his name? Not important
I bought some cocaine if you snortin’
And she became a vacuum, put it on my dick like carpet
Suck the white off white chocolate
Let’s add comparing female genitalia to household appliances on our “don’t do this in a love song” list.
Are there any popular “love” songs that get under your nerves? Please share in the comments below!